The Humdrum Affairs

Part 3: Dreaming With a Broken Heart

“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?

No you won’t, ’cause you’re gone, gone, gone, gone, gone…. “

First when it happened I thought it was a one time thing, but then the intensity increased. I wouldn’t mind if he was “haunting” me in the real sense, hurting me, breaking my heart or something like that. But what he does is worse, he would take me by the hand and whisper sweet nothings, hold me close and tell me everything would be okay. These are the moments I had longed for my whole life. How do I wake up when everything I’ve always wanted is right there and would disappear as soon as I open my eyes. 😦

The more distance I want to put between us, the closer he gets. I want, no, need to forget him but these nightly rendezvous are breaking my resolve. Now being a science student I am bound to believe that this is just my subconscious mind working on an overdrive, perhaps the result of stress. But my head keeps telling me it is highly ominous, as if something bad is going to happen.

So should I consult a dream specialist and ask him what they mean? Or am I just depressed and the old feelings are resurfacing in this manner. I am confused. The only thing I know is that I look forward to dreaming again, of meeting him there. Now I know this sounds bad considering I’m supposed to be running away from him, but I can’t stop myself from dreaming either 😦

This is the point where I realise that insomnia was actually my friend, my comrade. Guess I’ll just enjoy all the time I get with him until he fades again and becomes a figment of my imagination…


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