Why can’t I say NO??

Then one day it dawned on me: If my value to others hinged on what I’d do for them, then their approval of me was of no real value. So I did myself a favor. I learned to say no to all favors but those I could do with a giving heart.— Sandra Kring

My inability to say no is one of the biggest tragedies of my life. Add to it my fear of rejection and you get a perfect pushover. Earlier it was just to please people around me but eventually it became a habit and now I just can’t say no.

 It had come to a point where people’s perspective of me became everything. I stopped being myself and turned into a pseudo someone that my peers wanted me to be. I know it is not a good place to be and I’m still fighting to turn things around though I’m not sure if I’ll succeed. What can I do?


8 comments on “Why can’t I say NO??

  1. vartika says:

    u can just stop trying to please people and be spontaneous . It helps.. trust me. will be difficult but its important to respect Yourself and believe no one can be better than you. i dont get how you just write everything i feel or have gone through, sometimes i still do… keeping others happy makes me feel i am important to them, otherwise i’ll be lost , but i don’t disrespect myself , i let go of people who dont deserve me. You should too.
    Just How many more similarities exist between us i dont know..

  2. It is a hard thing to stop. Start small. With a no… offer no reason. Just a no thank you. Reasons make for probing and twisting your guilt into a yes.

  3. I can only agree with Amber and Vartika. People will take advantage with someone if they constantly say yes… little by little, erm no I can’t, no I won’t – sorry. If they can’t accept…what type of friend are they?

  4. timberbee says:

    I used to think I had a problem saying no, but I didn’t. I said no when I meant no, and yes when I meant yes, but my true problem was that I, myself was lost. Now that I am not so lost, I still say no when I mean no, only I no longer seem to linger on whether that is an issue for others. It really helps when we have an anchor.

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