The Girl who killed herself

Don’t talk to her
She’s in too deep
Drowning in her own pain.

Her eyes are empty
An endless void
A reflection of her life.

She can’t sleep
She can’t eat
Just keeps awaiting her doom.

Everyday
A new mask
Everyday
A new pretense.

Lost in her own nightmares
She murdered her hopes
Strangled her joy.

No tears shed
For this living corpse
No remorse
For her bleeding heart.

That’s how she lives
That’s who she is
The girl who killed herself.

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A Rose Maybe…

What greater tragedy for a girl than never having received a rose ūüė¶¬† Sadly, I am one of those girls. I don’t even know if such a category exists. I don’t understand why nobody actually thought of giving me one. It is painful when I see girls around me with dozens of them and I’m empty handed. Is it normal to be in my position or is my life truly pathetic?

Family Portrait

A shattered family portrait

A pillow stained with tears

The raised voices and shattered hopes

As innocence simply stares.

I’m scared daddy please don’t fight

I just can’t take it no more

Why can’t we be a happy family

Just like we were before.

I close myself and shut them out

As I hear her silently weep

I find a sanctuary in my bed

And cry myself to sleep.

No, mommy please don’t cry

Look what I made for you

I swear I’d be a good girl

Together we’ll make it through.

Still

I still¬†think about¬†you. I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s stupid but I can’t help it¬†. There are times when I hear my phone ringing and I silently wish it was you. I still wake up feeling empty inside, as if I was missing a part of me.

I just want to know how you’ve been.¬†Are you happy? Does she make you happy? I know it is inappropriate to be asking these questions but I am genuinely curious. You were my best friend for years and I do have the right. You just can’t abandon someone like that.

I miss my friend, I miss being able to tell you everything. It kills me to see you pass by me everyday and not even acknowledge me. What would I give to have you look at me  just once without flinching. Do I ever cross your mind or have you completely erased me from your memories? Why do I have to lose a friend to make things better?

Just Friends

What would you do if you fell in love with your best friend? This is something I could never get an answer to. Most of us have crushed on our friends and then¬†there are people¬†who have had the bad experience of being ‘friend zoned’. In my opinion there is nothing more distressing than being caught up in an unrequited romance with a friend of yours.

The point is that it is very easy to fall for someone like that. When you’re with a person for so long; a person who understands you and supports you, it is but obvious that you end up liking him/her. But then there is always the danger of¬†“what if ?”

“What if he doesn’t like me back?¬†” or “What if it destroys our friendship?”¬†So what would you do if put in the same situation-

“Would you rather tell a friend you love him and lose the friendship or forever keep your silence and suffer a lifetime of lies?”

 

Letters to ‘YOU’- Part 2

Hey,

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† I don’t know if you read my previous letter or if you are going to read this one but I just had to do this. I needed to let out all the frustration and anger in some way and writing to you seemed the perfect method. After all you need to know the hell you put me through.

It is just that I know you will never accept your fault and it infuriates me even more. I still remember that time; it is clear as ice. Your betrayal felt like somebody had punched a hole right through my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I would wake up every morning hyperventilating, my face smeared with tears from the last night.¬† I had to practically tell myself not to break down in front of everyone. I was numb; pain was my only solace.

Why didn’t you answer any of my calls? Was it that hard to help me out of my misery? I didn’t even realise that I was depressed till one day I looked into the mirror and didn’t recognise the girl looking back at me. Can you imagine that pain?

Today I want you to know that I am better now. I have real friends who won’t leave me in need. I won’t say I am over you because I’m not but I can assure you that one day I will erase you completely from my life.¬† This is the last time I am writing to you. I wish you all the best for your future. Goodbye and good luck…