Own Me Forever

A dark room, a thousand sweaty bodies,

All moving to the same rhythm,

All lost in their own reverie,

Me; I’m a slave to your touch,

The musk of your cologne, the softness of your shirt.

With my skin up against yours,

I’m melting under your scorching gaze,

Your passion burning; threatening to consume,

From the burning trail your lips leave,

To the feather promises of your breath on my skin.

Addicted to the taste of your kisses,

I give in defeated,

You take without asking,

Possess me; mind, body and soul,

I’m yours to do as you please,

This dance I’ll dance forever.

The Light of Darkness..

Staring at the nothingness ahead of me,

I walk into it, wanting nothing to be found.

Standing by a volcano which once erupted light,

I am scared what if it comes back to life.

When the demonic silence speaks volumes,

I listen intently; finding my way through invisible crossroads.

And then being my savior,

The light of darkness finally dawns upon me.

 

I miss you my dear ball of fur…

Oh how you’ve grown up; no more the same little thing that used to climb in bed with me and snatch away my pillow to use it as your mattress.

No more chewed footwear or torn cushions. No…you are lazier now 😛

You make me want to rush home and hug you. It is my favorite stress buster.

I love you my one true love…my Zoe. ❤

20 Pink Roses…A Birthday in Randomness

 

Twenty pink roses and the 23 year old curse was broken….. Teddy bears, chocolates and roses, what more can a girl ask for on her birthday 😀 A dedication video made by two of my very good friends, all the planning and scheming behind my back and two bloody cakes…. no doubt my 23’rd year started with a bang!! It was fun, it was great; I did miss my parents but I’m gonna go meet them this weekend 🙂 Sorry for not putting up anything for the past two days but I was still hung up on all the sugar I consumed. I’m going to make use of my newly acquired journal my friend gave me and probably come up with something good soon 🙂 Till then God Bless..

 

Searching for true love..

I have spent a lot of my time worrying about true love. Who will he be? When will I find him? Will he like me?  I used to think that it was the hardest thing to do but then this very evening I saw a mother give birth to her baby while posted in the OBGYN department. She had been in labor for hours, was in pain, exhausted and there was a lot of blood 😦

Finally she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Then it happened…she looked at her child for the first time and that look on her face was pure love; love for her newborn baby. It felt like she had momentarily forgotten all about her pain and despair; like her baby was the center of her world and nothing else mattered. It was then I realized that I had already found true love the day I was born.

The first thing I did after that was to call my mom and tell her how much I loved her. I don’t know why we spend years trying to find the meaning of love when it is right there in front of us.  A mother’s love is unconditional and one that is easily ignored by us. If you haven’t told your mom what she means to you, I request you do it today. Tell her how much you appreciate everything that she has done for you. It will make her day I can assure you.

 

Why can’t I say NO??


Then one day it dawned on me: If my value to others hinged on what I’d do for them, then their approval of me was of no real value. So I did myself a favor. I learned to say no to all favors but those I could do with a giving heart.— Sandra Kring

My inability to say no is one of the biggest tragedies of my life. Add to it my fear of rejection and you get a perfect pushover. Earlier it was just to please people around me but eventually it became a habit and now I just can’t say no.

 It had come to a point where people’s perspective of me became everything. I stopped being myself and turned into a pseudo someone that my peers wanted me to be. I know it is not a good place to be and I’m still fighting to turn things around though I’m not sure if I’ll succeed. What can I do?

A Rose Maybe…

What greater tragedy for a girl than never having received a rose 😦  Sadly, I am one of those girls. I don’t even know if such a category exists. I don’t understand why nobody actually thought of giving me one. It is painful when I see girls around me with dozens of them and I’m empty handed. Is it normal to be in my position or is my life truly pathetic?

A Guest Post…

A friend of mine wrote this post and he wanted me to share it with the world. Being a med student I understand the importance of the message he is trying to convey. Please do share it with the ones you love…..

“This is a Chemo-port.  In my religion, the son carries out the last rites of the departed through cremation, and on cooling down of the pyre, salvages the bones. My toes could still feel the hot sand when I collected what remained of my mother and among all that, was this.

This page isn’t going to be about cancer, yet I’ll brief you through. It started fibroids, then non-malignant tumor in breast in 2006, operated; discovered as malignant less a year ago – 4th stage, mets in bones, had eaten the lower vertebrae. After various illnesses, septicemia and brain mets lead to a sub-Dural hematoma – fifteen days coma – she came out of it; paralyzed in the left. Another fifteen days of brain radiation as she recovered her speech and slight movement. While I stood by her shoulder night and day, meningitis went past me. She died in the ICU, in front of my eyes, cardiac arrest, because the doctors couldn’t catch the meningitis till it made the final hits.

A friend’s mother shared no less painful a fate, breast cancer, discovered at mets in kidney, liver, bones and lungs, died the week following the diagnosis.

The point, Don’t avoid the doctor. Please.

Do not ignore the smallest of health issues, minor pains untreated lead to unfortunate situations; breast cancer being one. And while the world suffers, paranoia is a safer bet. Get your mother checked; at best it’s a price paid to hear the good news. No one should suffer, no mother should die, yet catch it before it spreads – Praemonitus praemunitus – because by the time we know, they would already be leaving.

I am writing this, in hope, that no one reading this will ever suffer the same fate as I did. Either the good news or an earlier detection, always consult your doctor. Mothers tend to avoid the doctor in fear, or for whichever reasons, push her. We were scared too, we were too late, you don’t want to be us. Everyone gets scared, courage doesn’t mean you are scared, it means you more ahead despite the fear.

Do not ignore your family’s health. Nature is strange and we are fragile. Take heed, get regular check-ups.

They tried eight times to revive her, yet she left. I saw my mother’s heart-rate drop, and then suddenly from a forty-four to a dead zero, you don’t want to be me.

If you are a mother, do your checkups for your family’s sake. If you are a father, let your children bear your burden too, never hide, nobody gets to say goodbye. Do not carry the world on your shoulders alone. If you are a son, come home on time, you’ll regret it regardless of anything. Nobody can ever be worth the time, your life needs others, but your mother will be irreplaceable, try and balance. And all of you, create memories, they’ll end up being too less. Eat healthy and see your doctors.

When you are picking up what’s left of the pelvic girdle which brought you into this world, there isn’t any theology left. Take care of your loved ones, don’t be running off to idols while your loved ones suffer any pain, get them the scientific medical help they need, on time. Time – death – is always a step ahead, where are you. Hopefully not holding the chemo-port you salvaged from your mother’s ashes. Be well.”

Dream Man

Still waiting here

Still alone

Looking for someone

I know from a distant memory

Can you help me find him

I think I remember

Just how he looks

Though I’m not sure

Maybe if I saw him

Or heard his voice

I’ll recognize him

From my dreams

He’s my stranger

My desire

That comes to me in my sleep

Maybe just my imagination

But is more than reality..

P.s. I’m really sorry for my long absence but I was caught up with my exams and all and you know how these things tend to suck the life out of you 😦 So I guess I can safely say that I’m back now and hoping to post more often 🙂